Have you even seen the sun grow?
Have you even seen the moon go back into it shadow?
Have you ever wondered why I do not sleep?
The thought of waking up and not seeing you gave me chills worse than any nightmares.
It is hard to know what it would feel like to not have love.
Would I be, okay?
Would I just sink like quicksand?
You laugh and I try not to cry.
The truth is you do not care.
You do not love like me so how would you know.
Do you try to, no but I do?
I shed tears like the largest rainfall.
I bleed just to call your name.
Have you cared for the things I do?
Have you ever just thought of me?
I can say that I never did.
Flowers hang on my window looking like you.
They once were bright and full of light.
Now they are slowly drifting away.
I tried to save them, but the pain they were delt was more than I was willing to bare.
This hurts you just as much as it hurts me.
I tried to push through, but what was the point of baring the fruit.
I looked for answers, but each day another part of the flower would slip away.
Then one day it was nothing left for me to do.
I held on hoping that one day they might come back to me.
I did all I could, but still it was not enough.
Then I realize that I was trying to hold onto you.
The you I once knew.
The you I love and loved me.
I had to let you go, but I cannot.
That is why I still look at window and I see the flowers you gave. I might just have to take them to the grave.
A podcast that I am listening to lately is an oldie but goodie, at least I think it is. The Daily from The New York Times has some great stories I found out. This podcast has been a bright light for me the last couple of days. There has been so much going on, that this has been a welcome distraction. Listening to these stories has showed me a new light. I have only listened to a hand full of episodes so I cannot say much about it. More to come and I believe that it will be worth the download.
Fear is winning the battle that love lost.
The hope of being true has come at price of the head.
One that is too heavy to carry.
You think you have all the answers, but you always fail.
The cold nights have made for an even colder soul.
Lights do not show you anything that the darkness does not want to show.
You are where you begin time and time again.
This time the journey is one that sees no end.
The place you want is costing the battle that belongs to you.
This is not right, but the test just will not end.
When will you get it?
The thing that you desire but has not hope to see.
The question cannot be answered because you wrote the test.
If the water stop will rain not come?
If the world is moving, why am I still?
If dreams come true, why are mines nightmares.
If the sun always shine, why am not warm.
If you meant for me, why are we not one.
If we are together, why am I always alone.
If this real answer my call.
There are no more if about.
If this is real, why am I me.