I must say when I first listen to this podcast almost two years ago, I did not think that this would become one of my favorite podcasts to listen to. I was at work looking for something to listen to as I was cleaning. At the time, I was into the royal family for some reason. I stumble on to Noble Blood, and I have been hooked ever since. I have learned so much that I thought I knew, but as it turns out I did not.
My favorite episode is of course episode 12 The Ice Queen, I just love that story, and I think it should be turned into a movie. I think I also like is that the episodes are not that long. That is simply perfect, and the host is perfect. Her voice is smooth and soft, but with enough power to keep you hook. I think this should be show like Drunk History was. The host is Dana Schwartz.
I hate you, but I need you.
I tried to love you, but it broke me.
I used to run to you, now I run from you.
You were my strength, but I became your desire.
The love we shared had no bounds.
The hurt we hold is stronger than the ground.
The hope we shared is no longer there.
The love of my life I can never call again.
I wish we this did not happen, but it did.
The you plus me was all we had.
Then it became much more than we could bear.
Tomorrow is a new day, fir us to see.
Will it be one to remember or one that blows through the trees.
Look up at the sky and you will see me.
I will always be there; you just might not see.
Where have you been?
I have search for you for the last couple of years.
I looked and looked but noting came.
Then one day I stop, and you appeared.
My heart started to open that day.
It was not easy, it was torture.
Pain is a beautiful thing when the result is meaningful.
You are my pain, and I am yours.
That is why we can no longer look at each other.
We do hurt well, and over time it no longer hurts.
You will always be my rock, and the one I will give my heart to.
My heart just can no longer break.
The pieces are shattered.
It is time to look again.
This time I am looking to go.
I found the one that was for me.
You fixed the whole that was my heart.
It just broke the part that was put together.
Now we just must go search for the best.
We just cannot be one.
This week I have done some thinking about my life now, and what is next for me. I do not have the answer and I do not know when that will come or if it will come. I have a lot of self-doubt about myself and if I have the strength to get it done anything really. Most important do I have the mental strength to fight to be happy. Do not get me wrong I am mentally strong, but sometimes it gets hard to just hang you head out there to dry, and to fail.
Something about me people do not know is that I am not good with confrontation and criticism. Failure is a way for you to learn, and you can only grow from what you do not know.
I appreciate the criticism, but it gets hard to hear how bad you are at something. You can think that you are doing good then, that one person says something to you and that is all you can think about.
That is just something that I need to work on, I try to, but it is hard. That is just a part of life, I guess. Another thing I forgot to say is that I am not writing as much as I did last year. This year I feel as if something is missing, and I just do not know what that is. I have the ideas, but I just cannot seem to find the words. I think I need a writing partner, but I do not know.
There is something happening, and I do not know what it is.
The things that used to surround me are slipping away.
The trees are no longer listening.
The wind has stop singing.
I have nothing.
I do not know what I did wrong.
My life used to be okay, and sometimes great.
Now it is just grey.
My friends are no longer here, and my family I let disappear.
I always wanted to be alone.
Now that I am, all I want to do is just go home.
I said I would never come back, now my heart is making me want it.
The love never used to be there, but the silence of being alone is frighting.
I am slowing turning into the person I once feared.
I cannot say their name because it will ring true to death ears.
To be alone does not mean you are lonely.
I am both, and that is not where I want to be.
I need to be free, yet all I want to be is alone and lonely.