Poem: The Road alone

I see the hope that brings me here.

The story that gives love its wings.

My heart feels the things that no one could ever see.

I think I might cry the tears that gives me joy.

The sorrow that I have when you cross my mind.

Makes me wonder are my feet planted on the ground, or is this sky?

Am I buried in the sea, but somehow, I am breathing without you next to me?

I have all the hope that you will make it.

For me there is none.

I have failed so much that the heart aches no more.

The sent of you climbing to the top, only make me realize that I am at the bottom of the rock.

I cannot be the one next to you.

I can barely stand with the wind of the trees.

When I bow my head, it is not for grace.

The shame of being without is one that you should not see.

I must let you climb so that I can walk this lonely road.

Poem: The Lonely Road

The lonely road, the one I most frequently travel.

It is not always great, but for me it has made me the way I am.

The bumps and the curves showed me that sometimes you must adjust to get the goal.

The fog covered nearly everything around, but through it all I kept going.

Time after time I thought maybe I should turn back.

What am I doing here?

This is not for me, and I need to take the road that everyone knew.

Then when you least expect it, but right when you need them.

Joy appears and so does hope of being us.

It was always just me and my road the one that nobody knows.

Then one day it became less lonely someone else was there.

I was not expecting this, but the bumps started to smooth out.

The fog was starting to clear, and my vison was nearly 20/20.

Is this real could this be.

The one that I have hope for are you the one that I needed.

This is it this is me.

The lonely road has saved me, and now I can become we.

It seemed too good to be true, and it was.

The lonely road had played me once again.

New Road

This past two weeks I have been doing a lot of reflecting on the upcoming weeks, and what they mean for me. I want them to mean hope, but something deep down is telling me they will not. I tend to over think things and to over analyze everything. I try to stay positive, but for some reason I do not know how to. When anything happens, I immediately look at it from every angle. It could be good, but I will look for the bad inside it. That is my natural and I am learning to live with it.

I have always said that life is not meant to be easy, and if it were easy It would not be worth living. That is jut my opinion. I know there are things that come easy to people, and there are somethings that come easy to me. I just do not like anything that is easy. I need to be challenge. If I am being honest there were something that came easy to be, and I did not appreciate as I should have. If I did things differently my life would be completely different, but since I chose the road that was less traveled it has been an uphill battle.

I do not like the challenge, but I do welcome it. I can say that everything I have I had to work for it. I did have some help along the way, but where I am sitting now, I got myself here. The truth is I wish I have taken the easy road. I could be far along with my life, and maybe the struggle would not be as real as it is. I really do not know. I just that I want more for me, and if I want, I must work to get, and I have waited long enough. It is time to stop over analyzing things and just go. Your dreams starts today. You do not have time to wait, go for them now.

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Fun and done

What is it like to have fun? I honestly do not know if I must say so. The last time that I actually had fun would have to be almost three years ago. This is year has been really hard in more ways than one, and everyday it seems to get harder. There seems as if the end is no where in site. I just want to have a day where I am just chilling with my family like we used to, but I learned that it will never happen like that again.

When I go home it just does not feel the same. The vibe is just completely different. Nothing feels the same. It starts with people, then the environment. There is always places that I used to go to that I cannot go to anymore, for either it is not there, or the person is dead. I just wish everything can go back to normal. The one thing I learn about life is nothing will ever be normal as we get older that is apart of life. That is the sacrifice we all have to learn to make.

Another thing tennis is back!!!!! I cannot wait.

Poem: The Same

Today everything was the same

I was brave

I fought the less fortunate

I was kind

Most importantly I was there

Today everything was the same

I was tough

I walked without a care

I was at ease

Most importantly I was there

Today everything was the same

I was flying high

I did my part to make everything right

I was here

Most importantly I was here

As always today was the same

I cried

At night nobody came to see why

Nobody called to check on me

Until it was time for me to fight

I was not brave, kind, tough at ease, flying high and I was no longer here

For the last time and the most important I was not there

Nothing was the same