The show is over.
It is time to say goodbye.
Though you would like to stay awhile.
The sun has come and gone.
The moon is now basking in its light.
You go back to the day the light went away.
The dark was all that help you.
All that covers you and yet it was also all that scared you.
You thought tomorrow was wrong and today was right.
Then one day the moon gain light.
It showed you hope.
You were no longer in the dark.
You were now walking in your light.
This is still a work in progress.
As this month draws to a close, I cannot help but wonder what’s next? That is a strange question to ask, but with everything that has happen I can’t help but ask. I do not think that is something that we can answer, nor is it something that we should answer. What is next is not meant for us. We will find out eventually, but with all the uncertainty out in the world, it could be hard for people to picture life past today.
How long should it take a person to figure something out? The question I am trying to ask is how long should it take a person to figure out life. That is a question that really can’t be answered. It’s a great question to ask, but to be honest it is something that is quite hard to narrow down. This seems like an odd time to be asking this question with everything going on, but right before all of this happen I thought I had everything figured out, turns out now I’m not sure.
When we all were younger we dreamed of being an adult, but little did we know there was a lot more work for us ahead. I was in college for almost 10 years and I have two bachelors degrees to show for it, but still I am not sure have it figured out what I want, or need in my life to be successful. That is not to say just because I graduated from college that I should have my life figured out by now, but as you get older things change for you.
I used to think that I maybe become a doctor one day, but I grew out of that. I also thought that I would be involved with music because of my background ( I played trumpet in my high school band.) Then I thought maybe I would be lawyer, but I wasn’t sure I could handle that. That was something that always stood next to me, but I was not ready, and I let other people around me influence me. I chose to study political science. I am not saying that I am about to go to law school or anything; all I am saying it takes time to figure things out, and sometimes life shows you other wise.
The thing what I am trying to get across is that just because you think you have your life figure out, something maybe come along and change your whole perspective, it could be for the good or the bad it just depends on how you see it not how anyone else would see it. Take it day by day and in the end, you will know what is the right thing for you. It’s okay to not have it figured out yet most people are still searching.
I wrote this on my phone in one take. If something is wrong I’m sorry.
Worried, tired, stress, and the unknown. Those words are similar in some from or way, but that is how I have been feeling lately. I don’t quite understand why that is, but I feel like something is missing or that I am going to fail. There is a bunch of stuff that is going on in the world, but I don’t understand how I should feel.
My life has and is changing at the moment, and I am not sure that I can handle it. Most of it is my doing, but a lot of it i don’t have control of at the moment, and I don’t understand. I am worried about everything, but what I should be worried about. That is just life I guess. I can never see the positive in almost anything, I can only see the negative and how it is going to affect me.
I don’t really know what to say really. The only thing that I can say is that the unknown is starting to come to the light and I don’t how to adjust to it. That is something that we all go through. If we are honest with ourselves life is full of the unknown, and that is what makes it great I think. That is also what makes it scary to deal with. I should have a lot of free time on my had, but If you know me I do not. There is still a lot of things that what to do, but I don’t really know how.
This is not going to be a long thing, but I think this is the time to explore, and get to doing things that you have wanted to do for a while. There is no excuse and the unknown is about to be part of the known.
Today I did something I never though that I would do. I walked away; though this was not by choice, I finally had enough strength to put myself first. This was not something that was done lightly this is something that I have though about for the last couple of months, but to be honest I had to do it. There are some life changes that are about o happen and I have to make some tough decisions. Will these decisions hurt people? Yes, but I have to do what I have.
This moment I was brave, not by choice, but by force. I am at a point in life where I can no longer be scared. I have to do what is best for me, and my well being. Do i know what will happen tomorrow? No, but am I afraid 100% yes. I am not sure what exactly I am going to do next. This is the beauty about life you never know what the next day will hold, but you can make it one that you will be proud of.
You have to learn how to believe in yourself, because if you don’t you can’t expect someone else to believe in you. The next couple of days will test you from your faith to your will to survive. This is challenge that I am willing to take, but the result is one I am uncertain of.