Where do I turn.
Where do I go.
Where do I look.
The past is creeping up and drawing me nearby.
I want to go, but I know my soul cannot bare it.
The hurt that the past has cause is also the cure for my future.
I try to make a change, but it always leads me there.
Can I make it without it?
The option is not clear.
The option is an open book that I cannot read.
I remember the things that made me hurt.
I also remember the joys of living.
When I think about it, I think about me.
When I think about what could be, I do not see me without it.
I see the people that made me love.
The people that made me whole.
I see the past, I also see that it is my future.
The show is over.
It is time to say goodbye.
Though you would like to stay awhile.
The sun has come and gone.
The moon is now basking in its light.
You go back to the day the light went away.
The dark was all that help you.
All that covers you and yet it was also all that scared you.
You thought tomorrow was wrong and today was right.
Then one day the moon gain light.
It showed you hope.
You were no longer in the dark.
You were now walking in your light.
This is still a work in progress.
As this month draws to a close, I cannot help but wonder what’s next? That is a strange question to ask, but with everything that has happen I can’t help but ask. I do not think that is something that we can answer, nor is it something that we should answer. What is next is not meant for us. We will find out eventually, but with all the uncertainty out in the world, it could be hard for people to picture life past today.
How long should it take a person to figure something out? The question I am trying to ask is how long should it take a person to figure out life. That is a question that really can’t be answered. It’s a great question to ask, but to be honest it is something that is quite hard to narrow down. This seems like an odd time to be asking this question with everything going on, but right before all of this happen I thought I had everything figured out, turns out now I’m not sure.
When we all were younger we dreamed of being an adult, but little did we know there was a lot more work for us ahead. I was in college for almost 10 years and I have two bachelors degrees to show for it, but still I am not sure have it figured out what I want, or need in my life to be successful. That is not to say just because I graduated from college that I should have my life figured out by now, but as you get older things change for you.
I used to think that I maybe become a doctor one day, but I grew out of that. I also thought that I would be involved with music because of my background ( I played trumpet in my high school band.) Then I thought maybe I would be lawyer, but I wasn’t sure I could handle that. That was something that always stood next to me, but I was not ready, and I let other people around me influence me. I chose to study political science. I am not saying that I am about to go to law school or anything; all I am saying it takes time to figure things out, and sometimes life shows you other wise.
The thing what I am trying to get across is that just because you think you have your life figure out, something maybe come along and change your whole perspective, it could be for the good or the bad it just depends on how you see it not how anyone else would see it. Take it day by day and in the end, you will know what is the right thing for you. It’s okay to not have it figured out yet most people are still searching.
I wrote this on my phone in one take. If something is wrong I’m sorry.