Week to week searching for the light that makes you smile.
Each day coming up short but dying to try again each day.
Then one day you stop, and rain starts to pour.
The soul that holds you hand is no longer holding your head.
The whispers creep down your spine, and the chill are no longer making your warm.
You wonder what this could be that is making you this way.
Hiding the tears with the smile that is covered with your fears.
The dinner that you are feed, is no longer enough to keep your head.
When will your mission be done, or will the heartache last?
Will the smile ever return to the crown?
Another day has gone by, and you still have not call.
I sit and wait just to hear a voice that is so familiar.
As the night starts calling my name, I still never hear yours.
Days go by, and you start disappearing from my frame.
I no longer wonder to hear you, I just hinger to feel you.
Then it starts to fall away.
The thought of you leaves my brain.
Then I realize that you are no longer here.
You have gone to a place where there are no phones.
Yet I still can call you and know that you are listening to my ever word.
Darkness has return.
It is looking for a place that light cannot see.
A spot that is so pure that joy makes it bleed.
There is only one place where it can go, and you know it well.
The place where love never seems to stay.
The place where nothing is meant to be, but heartache and misery.
The pieces that made it are now the pieces that break it.
The whole is never the same, and it never will be.
You cannot find help to heal the wound.
The dark is creeping closer, and this time will you let it in?
I have been putting off writing this for the last two weeks, but it is time. I am now a 31-year-old individual, who is just starting to get his life together. My birthday was January 12 and did not want to celebrate it this year with everything going on, but now I do.
My 30th year was about taking risk and doing the things that scare you. I did that when I quit my job and decided to move to city where I am alone with no friends or family. I was worried about it, but in the end, I made the right decision.
My 31st year will be about taking even bigger risk. Tomorrow is not for sure thing, and you must go after what you want. I want to make a movie and sell a sell a script that I have written. I am not sure how I am going to do that, but I know I am going to try my hardest to get it done.
Another thing that I am going to do is ask for help. I am a very prideful person, and I like to do everything on my own, but this year I will ask for help. I would love to have someone now with help editing a script and find out how to sell it.
It is a lot, but I am ready to get started. Let this new chapter begin.