Fun and done

What is it like to have fun? I honestly do not know if I must say so. The last time that I actually had fun would have to be almost three years ago. This is year has been really hard in more ways than one, and everyday it seems to get harder. There seems as if the end is no where in site. I just want to have a day where I am just chilling with my family like we used to, but I learned that it will never happen like that again.

When I go home it just does not feel the same. The vibe is just completely different. Nothing feels the same. It starts with people, then the environment. There is always places that I used to go to that I cannot go to anymore, for either it is not there, or the person is dead. I just wish everything can go back to normal. The one thing I learn about life is nothing will ever be normal as we get older that is apart of life. That is the sacrifice we all have to learn to make.

Another thing tennis is back!!!!! I cannot wait.

The Storm

How many people have been through a storm? I am not talking about bad weather type of storm. I am talking about a life storm. I have been through a lot of storms in my life, but I would not necessary call them storms. I would call them turning points. The reason I would call them that is because when you go through a storm at the end of it is lesson that you would learn.

I would say one of the biggest storm I faced was in 2017. I will not go into detail about the situation, but it was something that I never though that I would experience. It seem as if every where I turn something unexpected would happen, and I did not know how to handle it, or if I wanted it to be handle. The situation was not dire, but it showed me that it was not all bad, and how to get through certain situations.

I am saying all this because one, there is storm in my area now, and that I could not think of anything to write. You just have to remember that after the storm is over, you will get to know the true meaning of the storm, and what it was meant to show you. It may not be the lesson that you want, but the turning point is the part that will leave you with an open opportunity that you might not understand.

The Unknown

Worried, tired, stress, and the unknown. Those words are similar in some from or way, but that is how I have been feeling lately. I don’t quite understand why that is, but I feel like something is missing or that I am going to fail. There is a bunch of stuff that is going on in the world, but I don’t understand how I should feel.

My life has and is changing at the moment, and I am not sure that I can handle it. Most of it is my doing, but a lot of it i don’t have control of at the moment, and I don’t understand. I am worried about everything, but what I should be worried about. That is just life I guess. I can never see the positive in almost anything, I can only see the negative and how it is going to affect me.

I don’t really know what to say really. The only thing that I can say is that the unknown is starting to come to the light and I don’t how to adjust to it. That is something that we all go through. If we are honest with ourselves life is full of the unknown, and that is what makes it great I think. That is also what makes it scary to deal with. I should have a lot of free time on my had, but If you know me I do not. There is still a lot of things that what to do, but I don’t really know how.

This is not going to be a long thing, but I think this is the time to explore, and get to doing things that you have wanted to do for a while. There is no excuse and the unknown is about to be part of the known.

Poem: The Same

Today everything was the same

I was brave

I fought the less fortunate

I was kind

Most importantly I was there

Today everything was the same

I was tough

I walked without a care

I was at ease

Most importantly I was there

Today everything was the same

I was flying high

I did my part to make everything right

I was here

Most importantly I was here

As always today was the same

I cried

At night nobody came to see why

Nobody called to check on me

Until it was time for me to fight

I was not brave, kind, tough at ease, flying high and I was no longer here

For the last time and the most important I was not there

Nothing was the same