Poem: Stay

Please do not open that door.

If you open it, I know that one day you might never walk through it again.

Stay with me, please do not leave me.

I know I am not the best person in the world, but with you I am my best.

We have been through a lot, and sometimes it has been rough.

You can even blame me.

The world has taught us so much together, that I am afraid of what it would teach us if we were apart.

Stay here and lay next to me and try to love me once again.

You are my rock, and I promise never to let you go.

I know this place is not where you want to be, but it is needed.

Maybe not for you, but one day it could be for us.

This place sucks your joy, and every time you walk out that door,

I think that you might never come back.

I know that you do not want, but every time you do, I cry one less tear.

I know you want to leave, and trust me so do I.

This is not where I want to be.

I had dreams of traveling the world, and let the stars guide my way.

Then this came, and that came, and finally you came.

That was the one of the best days for me.

I would like to think it was for you too.

I know it is hurting for you to be here, but I am asking you not to go.

Would you please stay, and love me or at least try too?

This is not a place you want to be, and I know your future will be bright, with or without me.

This is not the place for me neither.

I would love for it to be with me.

Do not go, do not open that door.

Stay here with me.

So please, would you stay?

Poem: Leave

The sun is starting to set.

The day is almost done, and I am still where I was when it came up.

I cannot move, my feet are glued to the floor.

I keep watching people walk by.

They waive and say hello, but I cannot not speak back.

They must think that I am a fool.

The truth is I am.

I do not like it here, but something is making me stay.

I miss my people. I miss us.

I need to get up and move, but life is too cruel to let me.

This is not where I belong, and I know this is not where you would want me.

I remember there was a time that I knew what I wanted.

That change on the rainy summer day, that happens once in a blue moon.

The trees no longer grow, the flowers that you planted no longer bloom.

I have no soul.

Why can I not leave?

I know you want come back, but every day I sit and wait that you will come back.

That is why I cannot move.

I may look like a fool, but when I see you everything will be cool.

Maybe tomorrow I will move.

Poem: Stuck

Why am I here?

Why do I keep doing the same thing over and over again?

Do I like pain?

Do I like to be hurt?

It seems so, that is all I am getting.

Yet, I can not leave.

I stay and take the pain until I drop down to my knees.

I used to cry, but my river of tears has dried up long ago.

I am just numb.

To live you must be willing to give, and I have given all I can.

I pray for better days, and they never seem to come.

Or do they, and I am just too afraid to take that leap.

This world is so unkind, and my mind makes it harder for me to be free.

I live a life that is not worth living,

Yet everyday I get up and try again.

One day I must stop and start believing in me.

Right now, I cannot see that day.

It seems too far away.

I will keep looking, but for how long I do not know for how long.

My soul is draining, I am losing this battle.

I hate to lose, but this is one fight that I know longer have the strength to give.

Poem: Bright light

Today was a day.

One that has brought me joy, but even more pain.

I was able to see the light, the closer I got to it became harder to see.

My joy is so far gone, that my light does not know how to stay bright.

I wake up each day thinking that everything can be better,

But as the sun goes down, more and more it become untrue.

I hate my light.

Joy no longer lives here.

I am no longer here.

You are no longer here.

I wish that we could meet one last time.

Maybe that is why my light can never be bright.

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Giving thanks

I was having a conversation with someone recently, and they said something about giving thanks. That for some reason really hit me. I learned that I do not give, or think people as much as I should. I used to think that I did, but when I dug deep down I realize that I was letting my pride get in the way, which is a terrible thing. I do not know why I let this happens, but it is something that I need to change.

I must say pride is a deadly thing. When I say give thanks I mean to god. I am talking about whatever god that you believe in you must give thinks. If I am being honest, recently there have been countless times in which I was ashamed, or not sure what to believe anymore. I kept thinking why is this happening to me, is this what life is about. I can even say that this was a few weeks ago.

Then I realize that I need to stop doing what I am doing, and start giving thanks, and to listen. I have been trying to go for something for so long, but I realize that I lost track of what I was going for. I was not appreciating the things that I had. I have to make a change. I’m not saying that this will happen over night, but I got start somewhere. I am going to simply end this by saying thank you. Even if sometimes it seems as if I do not care. I do, but thank you for listening, and most importantly thank you for understanding.