Figuring it out

How long should it take a person to figure something out? The question I am trying to ask is how long should it take a person to figure out life. That is a question that really can’t be answered. It’s a great question to ask, but to be honest it is something that is quite hard to narrow down. This seems like an odd time to be asking this question with everything going on, but right before all of this happen I thought I had everything figured out, turns out now I’m not sure.

When we all were younger we dreamed of being an adult, but little did we know there was a lot more work for us ahead. I was in college for almost 10 years and I have two bachelors degrees to show for it, but still I am not sure have it figured out what I want, or need in my life to be successful. That is not to say just because I graduated from college that I should have my life figured out by now, but as you get older things change for you.

I used to think that I maybe become a doctor one day, but I grew out of that. I also thought that I would be involved with music because of my background ( I played trumpet in my high school band.) Then I thought maybe I would be lawyer, but I wasn’t sure I could handle that. That was something that always stood next to me, but I was not ready, and I let other people around me influence me. I chose to study political science. I am not saying that I am about to go to law school or anything; all I am saying it takes time to figure things out, and sometimes life shows you other wise.

The thing what I am trying to get across is that just because you think you have your life figure out, something maybe come along and change your whole perspective, it could be for the good or the bad it just depends on how you see it not how anyone else would see it. Take it day by day and in the end, you will know what is the right thing for you. It’s okay to not have it figured out yet most people are still searching.




I wrote this on my phone in one take. If something is wrong I’m sorry.

The Unknown

Worried, tired, stress, and the unknown. Those words are similar in some from or way, but that is how I have been feeling lately. I don’t quite understand why that is, but I feel like something is missing or that I am going to fail. There is a bunch of stuff that is going on in the world, but I don’t understand how I should feel.

My life has and is changing at the moment, and I am not sure that I can handle it. Most of it is my doing, but a lot of it i don’t have control of at the moment, and I don’t understand. I am worried about everything, but what I should be worried about. That is just life I guess. I can never see the positive in almost anything, I can only see the negative and how it is going to affect me.

I don’t really know what to say really. The only thing that I can say is that the unknown is starting to come to the light and I don’t how to adjust to it. That is something that we all go through. If we are honest with ourselves life is full of the unknown, and that is what makes it great I think. That is also what makes it scary to deal with. I should have a lot of free time on my had, but If you know me I do not. There is still a lot of things that what to do, but I don’t really know how.

This is not going to be a long thing, but I think this is the time to explore, and get to doing things that you have wanted to do for a while. There is no excuse and the unknown is about to be part of the known.


There always seems like there is not enough time in the world to do anything lately. This year has start off in between for me. There are some good days and some bad days, but I am not sure where to go. There is a lot of things that I want to do, but it always seems as if there is no time for me to do. This seems like something I have wrote or said before. Let’s switch it up a bit.

Time is money as they say, and I do believe that. There are some people that would only use you or call you when you they need something that will benefit them, and more than likely hurt you. This can be a bad thing, but it also can be good thing. This is a life lesson that you make need to understand.

Something that I have learn over the years is that the dollar is not important. Sure you need it to survive, but it is not everything. Granted it is helpful, but you have to know how to maybe live with less, and how to survive on less of it. The place where a person might feel this the most is at there place of employment, or your family.

You have to know your worth, and how that you can not let the the dollar control you. Lose it and keep it moving.

Short Story: Family

The weekends were always a source of fun and intrigue when I was younger. My cousins and I would usually stay the night at our grandmother’s apartment, we always loved her cooking, and the only way we could guarantee that we would eat some was to stay the night. Whenever grandma would cook it was an event. There were family members that we never knew existed coming to get some of her cooking. My favorite thing that she would cook was anything southern, I did not care what it was I just knew that it would be good.

Grandma lived in a one-bedroom apartment, it had almost everything that anyone would need and more. There things that she collected throughout her life, from stuff animals (that were mine) to at least five Nativity of Jesus sets spread out over her the living room. There was one thing everybody knew when you came to grandma house it was unspoken but spoken, and that was DO NOT SIT ON THE FUNTI URE! If anybody wanted to sit, they had to use what we call lawn chairs, she had them scattered all over the house. Most of her neighbors were senior citizens like her, but on occasion were a few younger people living in the apartment complex also. Our grand- mother had a rough life growing up, her father was abusive, and her mother died in a car wreck when she was younger. The one thing that was guaranteed when you see grandma was that she would be wearing a skirt.

Grandma was proud of one thing in her life and that was her kids, thought they never listen to her she was always proud of them. When my aunts and uncles were younger, they never liked to listen to anything that she

had to say. As time went on, they learn that she was right about almost everything.

When we would stay the night at grandma’s house, on occasion one of our aunts Pig or Jean would stay also. Nobody really got along with Pig, she was mean, and we all thought that she was crazy. For me, she is my favorite aunt to be around. Every time we would see her there was always something wrong with her.

It seemed that the weekends that we stayed down there something would happen. It could be an entertaining game of spades or domino’s, to a big blow out between our aunts. We always had a great time down there.

When everybody got done eating whatever grandma had cook, it was time for us to clean up. Nobody liked to do it, but since she cooked, we had to do it. When we got done cleaning the kitchen, we would all head out to the front porch and sit, or some of us would walk to the end of the driveway. The conversations that we would have were always entertaining, from a playful conversation about who was dating who, to having a serious conversation about the bible.

Me and my cousins would sit and watch in amazement at how quickly things would change between

them. When this would happen some of us knew not to say anything, but there were a couple cousins that would have to chime in. Then everybody would attack their parents for not raising them right.

Out of all of grandma’s kids, my mother is the only one that went to college degree. When our aunts would argue they were always filled with passion with everything they would say. Some of their biggest arguments were about the bible, they all had their own opinions and they were all right.

When they would get done arguing each one will start leaving one by one, and they would ask are we sure

we are staying and we would say yes. After they all left except Pig and Jean, we would try to find something to do. What we normally would do is seen one of grandma’s neighbors to the store for us to buy alcohol. Every time we would ask, he would do it.

The nights were the most fun, after grandma has gone to bed we would sit outside on the porch, and she always hated that. Grandma was always afraid that something bad was going to happen to us, but nothing ever did. While sitting out on the porch, we would see everything. The late-night shenanigans of her neighbors were always entertaining.

It was never the young neighbors that were entertaining, it was always the older ones. The things that we saw shall never be repeated ever again. That was the best part about staying down grandma’s house was watching the neighbors. We saw so much that it is hard to believe that those things happen.

Ever since grandma died things have not been the same. We hardly ever see each other now, but when we do it is like old times. Family is something that we will always be, but friends are what we became.


Book Review: I am Not Sidney Poitier

If you were to ask person today who Mr. Sidney Poitier is, most might know who he is, but Poitier is the first African American man to receive a Best Actor Academy Award, for his work in Lilies of the Field. Percival Everett is a Professor of English at the University of Southern California, and the author of Erasure, Assumption, and Percival Everett by Virgil Russell. His 2009 novel, I am Not Sidney Poitier, tells a story about a person who is living in Poitier’s work. Everett who grew up in the south uses his experiences with racism to tell a story that sometimes goes unnoticed.

The novel I Am Not Sidney Poitier, is about a boy named Not Sidney Poitier. The book opens with how he got his name, and how he becomes an orphan after his mother’s death, and the impact of what happens to him after she dies. Not Sidney is originally from California, but moves to Atlanta to live with Ted Turner, (yes that Ted Turner). He was an old friend of his late mother. This is the beginning when you will start to notice some of the iconic roles of Sidney Poitier throughout the novel.

The characterization of the South is important throughout the novel, from the language in which they speak, to the idea that they are not well educated, are played up tremendously throughout the novel.  As mention earlier, Everett also uses real life people throughout the story. There is Ted Turner and his wife Jane Fonda, and he also inserts himself Percival Everett, into the novel as well, as Not Sidney’s college professor. The fictional character of Ted Turner is almost a comic relief throughout the novel, as is the character of Percival Everett. Turner, the billion-dollar man, is something of a babbling idiot throughout the novel.

Throughout most of the book, Not Sidney is compared to Sidney Poitier through some of the characters he played, and with real life people like Ted Turner to Gladys from Morehouse college. The real Sidney Poitier is not directly in the novel, but he plays critical roles throughout. The purpose of Poitier being in the novel, is to almost to trick the reader to thank that it is Poitier. Though we know that it cannot be true, there are times that the story does seem to imitate life.

There are a couple of scenes in the novel that resembles several of Sidney Poitier’s films. There is one scene from the movie Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner. Unlike the movie, the family is an upper-class black family. This upper class black traditional family does not think that their daughter should be involved with somebody of Not Sidney’s skin tone, until they realize that he is rich. There are some black people that believe the lighter the person skin tone is the better or more successful the person. Race is a factor throughout the novel, but it mostly involves whites against blacks, and this is the rare occasion where blacks are pitted against each other. The time frame of the novel is confusing at times, there are times in which you think you are in the 60’s and 70’s (which Poitier had his great success) or in today’s world.

If you are not familiar with any part of Poitier’s work, then you will get a bit confused at some of the scenes. The novel tends to jump around a lot, especially with time. Everett has a way of making a person think that they are in one period, but in the next second, they are not. There is one scene where Not Sidney’s is on a farm plantation, but though it is explained in the book as a dream, it still is very confusing.


The beginning of the novel, Not Sidney is arrested for being black. As it turns out in today’s society, that is a common occurrence for black people. Being black and living in the south can be a person’s worst nightmare. A majority of the novel, Not Sidney lives in Atlanta, but the minute he steps over that county line outside of Atlanta, he learns what it truly means to be black in the south.

In Everett’s fictional Peckerwood County, where being black is considered a crime. “This here is Peckerwood County, boy. And you’s a nigger. And it’s a crime if I say it is.” This was said about officer George; this is also where the time frame of the novel can get a little confusing. The way in which the officer is speaking makes it seem like they are in the 60’s, but they are not. As it turns out, Peckerwood is not a real county in Georgia, but Smuteye is a real town in Alabama. It is located in Bullock County which is west of Montgomery.

Thus I would declare that I Am Not Sidney Poitier is a great novel.  It, not a typical novel to start with, the use of real life people and the satire of it all, but Everett has a way of making the reader think that they are in one place, but then he takes you a whole other direction. If you are a fan of Sidney Poitier and his work then this book is for you.

Racism is poignant throughout the novel, and it comes in from all angles. Not just from whites against blacks, but also blacks against blacks. Racism is a hard topic for some people to talk about, and Everett doesn’t shy away from it. There are times where racism can cut deep, and Everett tries to show how blacks can discriminate against by their own, just as bad as whites can.  Thought one of the underlining things throughout the novel is the power of money. Money can solve a lot of people’s problems. For example, in the novel, when Not Sidney wants to go to college he buys his way in. Then when he runs into the Nuns, he uses his money to get away from them.

With racism being what it is today, this would be a perfect time to read this book. There are a lot of senseless acts of violence that is going on this book can help shed light on. From the Eric Garners to the Trayvon Martin’s of the world this book can help that. There is a scene in the book, in which Not Sidney’s character is accused of murdering someone just because he is black, and since he is not from the area, they try to send him to jail.

Something that can take away from reading this novel is the conception of reality. There are times in which we can get lost in our lives. We tend to let people think that we are something, but in reality, we are not. Everett plays on that for a majority of the novel. It makes you think is he not Sidney Poitier or is he? Identity is not just someone’s name, it is who they are from the inside, it is who we are.