This Life

Today was another eye-opening day for me to say the least. I must say that over the years I have learn that I have anger issues. It is kind of hard for me to try and explain, but I hold so much in over the years that I get mad. I do not get mad at anybody else; I get mad at myself for putting up with the crap. There is only so much a person can take before they say something.

This all started at my last couple jobs, I must say people that working with the public, more specifically customer service, people should get some sort of medal of honor. I do not think people understand how it feels to work customer service, and you must deal with all different types of personality and attitudes everyday is hard. It is not easy to put a smile on your face and try to pretend everything is okay just to please some people who do not care what is happening with you. If you do not have something that they want, they get mad and yell at you and you are supposed to take it because the customer is always right.

I never agreed with that I just went along to get along, but years and years of dealing with that and holding everything in is exhausting. It is not fun and to be honest you are not getting paid enough to do it. I think that is sad that minimum wage has been the same for over 10 years, yet almost every year the price of everything stays going up. Rent goes up almost every year, but what you bring home stays the same. That does not make sense, and then you must work 2 or three jobs just to barely make end meets.

They tell you go to school get an education, and then go out and get job, but the thing is you cannot get a job once you get your degree, and not you are stuck doing what you were doing in college, that does not make sense. I know a lot of people that are dealing with that. Trust me I know I have two degrees, and I do not have job what I went to school for, because I do not have the experience and frankly, we really know why.  I will not say.

I do not really want to have a conversation about that right now, because there is a lot to say. Just take care of yourself, and practice self-care.

Poem: Perspective

Another day in which I look to you

Not for advice ,

Not for love,

But for perspective

To grow, to love, and to be happy

Then I look at me,

All I see is

The Pain, the sorrow, and the sadness

I do not have the blues,

I have the uncertain of today

And the worries of tomorrow.

Then when I look back at you

I see the joy for today

And the hope for tomorrow

Two people in same world

Looking at life with two different perspective

Chasing the dream , the hope, the joy, and the worry of tomorrow.

Fun and done

What is it like to have fun? I honestly do not know if I must say so. The last time that I actually had fun would have to be almost three years ago. This is year has been really hard in more ways than one, and everyday it seems to get harder. There seems as if the end is no where in site. I just want to have a day where I am just chilling with my family like we used to, but I learned that it will never happen like that again.

When I go home it just does not feel the same. The vibe is just completely different. Nothing feels the same. It starts with people, then the environment. There is always places that I used to go to that I cannot go to anymore, for either it is not there, or the person is dead. I just wish everything can go back to normal. The one thing I learn about life is nothing will ever be normal as we get older that is apart of life. That is the sacrifice we all have to learn to make.

Another thing tennis is back!!!!! I cannot wait.

Poem: Heart

This is something that I never could imagine

A sense that I never knew I had.

An emotion that I never knew how to show.

I will never forget that day

When it all came to me as once,

But I am always trying to forget the day

It all came down like the Niagara Falls.

It went just as soon as it came.

It was all my fault, yet I almost blame you.

Was it something that I said,

Or was it my actions towards the unknown.

All I can say is that I was wrong.

You held me when I was down, even though you were down.

I was evil,

Yet you were kind.

I was need,

And you gave me your heart.

One day I hope to right this wrong,

And have you back in our home.

Deep down I know it cannot be.

There was an angel needed, and you were the one to answer that call.

Now I just wait and prey, hoping that feel me giving my heart to you.

Next

As this month draws to a close, I cannot help  but wonder what’s next? That is a strange question to ask, but with everything that has happen I can’t help but ask. I do not think that is something that we can answer, nor is it something that we should answer. What is next is not meant for us. We will find out eventually, but with all the uncertainty out in the world, it could be hard for people to picture life past today.