Poem: I Wish

The day you left I cried .

The day you came back I wish you had died.

You were my reasoning,

Then you became my being.

It seems as if we were one,

Then you went away,

And I became me.

Our souls are forever attached,

Yet my heart breaks every time I see your face.

I love you so,

But right now, I wish you would go.

I just do not know.

Even though you need me more,

Sometimes I wish you that you do not need me anymore.

This is wrong to say

Because I love so.

Just like the sun the needs the sky,

And the clouds need the rain.

We will forever be one,

But I really wish you would go.  

Poem: Heart

This is something that I never could imagine

A sense that I never knew I had.

An emotion that I never knew how to show.

I will never forget that day

When it all came to me as once,

But I am always trying to forget the day

It all came down like the Niagara Falls.

It went just as soon as it came.

It was all my fault, yet I almost blame you.

Was it something that I said,

Or was it my actions towards the unknown.

All I can say is that I was wrong.

You held me when I was down, even though you were down.

I was evil,

Yet you were kind.

I was need,

And you gave me your heart.

One day I hope to right this wrong,

And have you back in our home.

Deep down I know it cannot be.

There was an angel needed, and you were the one to answer that call.

Now I just wait and prey, hoping that feel me giving my heart to you.

What to

So I know it has been awhile since I been on here, but I have been doing a lot of thinking, and trying to figure everything out. To be honest I am more confuse then ever. I know everything that I want, but every time that I think that I am close I get knock back down. I must say that I am starting to believe in myself more than I have been the last few months. It just seems as if everyday something else happen. Take yesterday for instance, my aunt told me that her dad died yesterday, who is also my granddad. I only met him once, about a two years ago. My mother never talks to him, but my aunt was very close to him. It was just weird thing to experience. I am still searching for what I need to do to be better than I was yesterday. I am just not sure if I can do it.

Something else has happen since the last time I posted. I told you that I was writing my first screenplay, well I still have not finish, I still have not written anything, but I did actually did an outline for it. I think that is a step in the right directions. The goal is still to be finish by the end of the year. Stay safe.

Next

As this month draws to a close, I cannot help  but wonder what’s next? That is a strange question to ask, but with everything that has happen I can’t help but ask. I do not think that is something that we can answer, nor is it something that we should answer. What is next is not meant for us. We will find out eventually, but with all the uncertainty out in the world, it could be hard for people to picture life past today.

Figuring it out

How long should it take a person to figure something out? The question I am trying to ask is how long should it take a person to figure out life. That is a question that really can’t be answered. It’s a great question to ask, but to be honest it is something that is quite hard to narrow down. This seems like an odd time to be asking this question with everything going on, but right before all of this happen I thought I had everything figured out, turns out now I’m not sure.

When we all were younger we dreamed of being an adult, but little did we know there was a lot more work for us ahead. I was in college for almost 10 years and I have two bachelors degrees to show for it, but still I am not sure have it figured out what I want, or need in my life to be successful. That is not to say just because I graduated from college that I should have my life figured out by now, but as you get older things change for you.

I used to think that I maybe become a doctor one day, but I grew out of that. I also thought that I would be involved with music because of my background ( I played trumpet in my high school band.) Then I thought maybe I would be lawyer, but I wasn’t sure I could handle that. That was something that always stood next to me, but I was not ready, and I let other people around me influence me. I chose to study political science. I am not saying that I am about to go to law school or anything; all I am saying it takes time to figure things out, and sometimes life shows you other wise.

The thing what I am trying to get across is that just because you think you have your life figure out, something maybe come along and change your whole perspective, it could be for the good or the bad it just depends on how you see it not how anyone else would see it. Take it day by day and in the end, you will know what is the right thing for you. It’s okay to not have it figured out yet most people are still searching.

 

 

 

I wrote this on my phone in one take. If something is wrong I’m sorry.