Sometimes you have to wait

I could never picture myself saying these worlds, but after these last couple of days I have learn that everything does happens for a reason, and it something that I need to get use to. The one thing that I have learned is that there is a lot of love and hope out in the world, and you have to be willing to go get it. It will not be east, but it sure as hell will be worth it. It might not happen today or tomorrow, but it will happen as long as you believe that it will.

Something that I am going to do is start putting something that made me look at things from a different point of view. I’m not going to lie it took me about three hours to write this. I do not know why. I just feel like I am obligate to do, but I just don’t know what to say. I wanted it to be about hope and waiting for something is sometimes worth it, but I got distracted and just do not know what to say. Hopefully I will tomorrow.

Here is one of my favorite songs I have been listing to the last couple of days.

Bright side

The last couple of weeks I went back and tried to look at things from a different perspective. I tend to only look at things from the negative side, instead I decided to look at things from a positive side. I must say I only started doing this the last couple of days. That is at least a start. I am trying to look at things from different angles right than different light. Life is just too short to be worried as much as I am the last couple of days. The end goal for me is to just be happy. I do not know how that will happen, but at least I can hope and try.

How Much?

Well since my last post, I feel as if things have not gotten better, but worse. I know that is hard to say, but lately I am starting to feeling what is actually good enough? I do not know, the only thing that i keep coming back to is that I am not good enough. I know that is something that I should not say, but as time goes on it starts ringing true. As I get older I am starting to become more aware of my surroundings, and the people that are always there. I am starting to realize, this could not be true, but then again more and more do not care. They only say they do to cover for themselves, but if you look deep down you just can feel it. That is all around from friends to family.

The question that I have when will I be able to feel as if they do, or better do they even care? I am a quiet person I do not like to ask for help on anything. I just like to do it on my own. The last few months have been rough and I am trying by best to hang on, but how much is too much.

Lost

These last few have been a little crazy for me. I have been trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life. Lately I feel that I let things slip away, and I am not sure that was smart. I have also been sick. I just have a cold it is nothing to worry about. I have just been lost the last couple of weeks. I keep saying that I want things to change, but I am always holding back. I am saying one thing and doing another. I do not know how to move forward.

This is a weird time for everyone right now, and I know there are more than to worry about at the moment, but it seems as if nothing is going right for me. This is how a lot of people are feeling at the moment. I am no different then them. I’m just saying things come and go, but you have to be willing to deal with it. I believe that better days are coming for me, but right now I am not sure. You just got to believe.

Poem: I Wish

The day you left I cried .

The day you came back I wish you had died.

You were my reasoning,

Then you became my being.

It seems as if we were one,

Then you went away,

And I became me.

Our souls are forever attached,

Yet my heart breaks every time I see your face.

I love you so,

But right now, I wish you would go.

I just do not know.

Even though you need me more,

Sometimes I wish you that you do not need me anymore.

This is wrong to say

Because I love so.

Just like the sun the needs the sky,

And the clouds need the rain.

We will forever be one,

But I really wish you would go.