Where I am from Part 1

This past week I found myself giving an little education about where I am from. I am originally from Orrville, Alabama. It is a small little town in Dallas county, about 15 minutes outside of Selma. Selma, Alabama which is know for it racism during the civil right movements, in my opinion has not change that much. Granted, I have never really asked anybody what it was like then, but from my observation nothing seems to have change that much. Everything is just now done in silence.

When I think about my hometown, I think about a couple of things. The first thing that I think about are the people. They are some of the reason that I am the person I am today. You can never find anybody without a backstory that is compelling, yet complicated. I learn some of my greatest life lesson from sitting around my grandmother porch listing to their stories that they would tell. I never in my life, even this day have I been around a group of individuals that did not have show compassion to everyone that they came across. No need for me to lie and say that everyone was an angel, but there are some individuals that were not good. For almost every 10 good people you met there were about 2 bad ones also. It is great place to grow up in, or visit.

Everything I want but not everything I want

Recently I was presented with a new opportunity for something that I have been wanting for so long, and just like last time I am terrified to take it. This time though I actually have the door open, and all I have to do is walk through the door, but that for some reason is hard to do. This happens to me almost every time, but this time I am farther along then I normally am. I honestly do not know why I am like this, it is as if I do not believe in myself as I should.

As I was stating in my last post that I started writing my first screenplay, but I have not written anything for it in the last two weeks. Life has been going yet, I am doubting weather or not that I actually can do. I think it is because I have gotten so used to rejection that I do not know how to take acceptance.

I really do not know what to do, but hopefully I will figure it out soon.

Long time

Hello, so I have not been writing for a while now, I have been trying to figure out what I had to say and how to say it. I must be honest I still do not know what to say or write, but I know that I need to if I want to be better than I was yesterday. The one thing that I have started doing is writing my first screenplay. I have not written anything for the last week or so, but I am trying to figure out how and what to say when I am writing every single scene. Something that I want to have accomplish by the end of summer is a first draft.

I do know that I have this to say, if you are afraid to do something you need to try it at least once. The reason I am saying this is because I am afraid to do a lot of things recently, for obvious reason, but I still want to try them. In life, you have to be willing to step out and try things. I must say the world is pretty much in a tail spin right now, and I am not sure where everything is going, or how it will end.

That is why I have finally decided to step and do something that I have always wanted to do. I have no clue what I am doing, but one thing I have learn so far is that I love it, and I would not trade that feeling for anything in the world, it is fun. Hopefully soon I will get back to doing these. Great week.

Life

There has been a lot going on in the world now, and I honestly I do not know what to say. I have seen a lot in my 29 years on the earth, some good and some bad. I know people expect me act and say things a certain way because I am black, but to be honest I cannot find the words to say anything. What I have decided to do was to take action, and learn ways in which I can make things better.

I grew up with my mother working for the county jail, and I know how hard she works, but I also know how much harder she has to work because she is black. I also know how hard it is for African Americans with the police. I can honestly say just because he was black. My cousin went missing almost 15 years ago, and till this day we have no clue what happen to him. That’s Alabama

I really do not know what to say except that we need to make a change soon

What’s next

This week has been one for the books, every time I thought that I was getting somewhere I am knock back down. This time it is taking me a, little longer to get back up. I am getting to a point in life that I do not know if I will ever get better. I am trying my hardest, but it never seems to work out for me. I keep asking myself what I am doing wrong, why is this always happening to me. The question I never used to have was am I good enough, now I am asking myself that, and to be honest I am starting to think that I am not. There is only so much rejection a person can take until they fully given up. I am trying not to get there, but I am getting closer and closer to that. It seems the more things appear to be going in one.

There is apart of me that feels like that I should feel bad for myself, but I cannot help that. It is hard to turn the other cheek and get back up again. There is only so much one person can take. Tomorrow might be better, but Today I just want it to be over.

I must say I just need to get some things off my chest. A lot has been going on, and I am just frustrated right now.