This is a little something of a short play that I am working on, there is a lot more to do, but this is just the beginning.
This is something that I never could imagine
A sense that I never knew I had.
An emotion that I never knew how to show.
I will never forget that day
When it all came to me as once,
But I am always trying to forget the day
It all came down like the Niagara Falls.
It went just as soon as it came.
It was all my fault, yet I almost blame you.
Was it something that I said,
Or was it my actions towards the unknown.
All I can say is that I was wrong.
You held me when I was down, even though you were down.
I was evil,
Yet you were kind.
I was need,
And you gave me your heart.
One day I hope to right this wrong,
And have you back in our home.
Deep down I know it cannot be.
There was an angel needed, and you were the one to answer that call.
Now I just wait and prey, hoping that feel me giving my heart to you.
How do you know when you are ready? Ready to move, to go, to travel, to love, or even to live. Its not something that comes to you automatically. It is something that you have to constantly work on and way the decisions whether they are good or bad. At least, that is what I do. I am trying to figure out way to make things easier to decided. It always seems as if I take the long way around. Now that is August I feel a little more anxious than normal. I do not know what it is, but I am feeling as if something is not right. This happens all the time to me, but this time is different.
I am also writing more my topics are not always good, but I am trying that is at least a start. I don’t really have much to say so this is just something simple. Topics are not easy.
This past week I found myself giving an little education about where I am from. I am originally from Orrville, Alabama. It is a small little town in Dallas county, about 15 minutes outside of Selma. Selma, Alabama which is know for it racism during the civil right movements, in my opinion has not change that much. Granted, I have never really asked anybody what it was like then, but from my observation nothing seems to have change that much. Everything is just now done in silence.
When I think about my hometown, I think about a couple of things. The first thing that I think about are the people. They are some of the reason that I am the person I am today. You can never find anybody without a backstory that is compelling, yet complicated. I learn some of my greatest life lesson from sitting around my grandmother porch listing to their stories that they would tell. I never in my life, even this day have I been around a group of individuals that did not have show compassion to everyone that they came across. No need for me to lie and say that everyone was an angel, but there are some individuals that were not good. For almost every 10 good people you met there were about 2 bad ones also. It is great place to grow up in, or visit.
This week has been one for the books, every time I thought that I was getting somewhere I am knock back down. This time it is taking me a, little longer to get back up. I am getting to a point in life that I do not know if I will ever get better. I am trying my hardest, but it never seems to work out for me. I keep asking myself what I am doing wrong, why is this always happening to me. The question I never used to have was am I good enough, now I am asking myself that, and to be honest I am starting to think that I am not. There is only so much rejection a person can take until they fully given up. I am trying not to get there, but I am getting closer and closer to that. It seems the more things appear to be going in one.
There is apart of me that feels like that I should feel bad for myself, but I cannot help that. It is hard to turn the other cheek and get back up again. There is only so much one person can take. Tomorrow might be better, but Today I just want it to be over.
I must say I just need to get some things off my chest. A lot has been going on, and I am just frustrated right now.