Walking the roads that holding my heart.
Now my head is hanging low as the trees tear it apart.
Looking at the houses that once stood tall.
Now falling to ground without a soul breath.
Looking ahead trying hard not look back.
I end up stuck in the middle while the light is no longer red.
Trying to figure which way to go.
I look back and see my path is not yet grown.
Wondering why this cannot be when this place is no longer me.
Then I realize this place is me.
This is my first destination, and it looks to be my last.
It is a new year and time to start reflecting on the things that happen the last year. 2021 was a year of change and growth. It was a year where I finally decided to step outside my comfort zone and try something that I never would imagine. There were difficulties, but that is everything with life.
The year started off with me feeling accomplished. I had just finish writing my first movie script and started thinking about being a writer more. I have not really written another script like that since, but I did decide to just write something everyday and post it. I know most time it is not perfect, but I was writing that was the most important part. That is something I am working on is proofreading. I hate to do. I always end up hating what I wrote and start over.
The year also started the last couple with me not being happy at my job. I knew I needed to make a change, I just did not know how or if I could do it. Then one day I made a choice to quit and leave without any backup plans at all. I did not have a job lined up, I just knew that it was time for me to go and spread my wings. I was losing me and just working. I did and now I am sort of not losing me anymore. This is journey, but I am taking it.
This was the first time that I did not have anything plan or something to do since before I graduated high school in 2009. Something about me is that I do not know how to slow down. I have a need to constantly stay working. There is a fear in the back of my head, that if I take a break, I might lose something. I was once broke, and that is something that I refused to go through again.
The summer was just me working almost everyday about 2 hours away from my house, but you know something I was happy to not be the one in control. I had been the boss for so long that I needed a break from just everything. I also moved at the end of the summer, to place that has become special to me. I finally done something nice for me. Doing all this there is something I did not do. I did not write a single thing. I did write poetry, but that comes naturally to me.
The rest of the year went dark. I work every day, and then by the end of the year my last grandparent died. My grandmother died two days before the new year. The year that started off with a bunch of hopes in dreams, ended with losing a loved one. That is why you can never take anything for granted. You must work like it is your last day. I am starting this year off with hope for the future. The past happens for reason. It was a lesson for me to grow, and I did.