Gone are the times of being right.
Now you must be wrong.
It is not bad
You know it is for good.
But you long for the bad.
Everything that you thought was right
Turned into everything that you hated.
Yet you loved it
This was not what you expect,
But you learn to live with it.
Did you grow, yes.
Did you lose? Hell yes.
Would you do it again,
In a heartbeat
All that matters is that in the end
You are still standing.
This year is almost over and it has been one hell of a year if I must say so myself. I have done a lot and I must say that I have learn a lot about myself, some good and some bad. The one thing that stands out to me is how selfish and ungrateful I have been to the people in my life especially my mom. I have never been the best person that I can be, but with everything happening in the world and learning and experiencing that life can be over with an instance. There have been time that I have been thinking about and I am completely ashamed of the way that I acted. I think that as I am getting closer and closer to my 30’s everything is becoming more clearer to me than ever before.
This year has been the year of uncertain and also the year that you had time to sit and think about your life, well that what it has been for me at least. There have been things that has happen all over the course of my life that I feel ashamed about the way I acted with everyone that I have now. I cannot change the pass, but I can learn from it. That is what I plan on doing going forward. I know the kind of person that I was and that is not the person that I want to be ever again.
If there is one thing we all can take from 2020 is that you have to look at yourself and either be grateful for it, and if you don’t you might lose it. Life is too precious to be selfish. There are millions of people who will and have literally died to have the life that you got, and you treat it like crap. We all have to be able to look at things from everyone that just the one looking back at you. A positive note this year I was finally able to do something that I have always wanted to do, was it perfect but I went for it and I am incredibly grateful. The best thing I can say right now it to just be grateful. This is not promise.
Darkness is my friend.
We get along so well.
That I need it to live.
It is everything I used to fear,
But now I hold it dear.
Light and I used to be cool.
Me and light are no longer good,
It scares me for the happiness it brings.
We used to be friends, best friends indeed.
Then I saw it go out of the very thing I love.
Without knowing it my heart went dark.
It has stayed that way since we went apart.
Maybe I will find the light again,
But right now darkness is my best friend.