The Unknown

Worried, tired, stress, and the unknown. Those words are similar in some from or way, but that is how I have been feeling lately. I don’t quite understand why that is, but I feel like something is missing or that I am going to fail. There is a bunch of stuff that is going on in the world, but I don’t understand how I should feel.

My life has and is changing at the moment, and I am not sure that I can handle it. Most of it is my doing, but a lot of it i don’t have control of at the moment, and I don’t understand. I am worried about everything, but what I should be worried about. That is just life I guess. I can never see the positive in almost anything, I can only see the negative and how it is going to affect me.

I don’t really know what to say really. The only thing that I can say is that the unknown is starting to come to the light and I don’t how to adjust to it. That is something that we all go through. If we are honest with ourselves life is full of the unknown, and that is what makes it great I think. That is also what makes it scary to deal with. I should have a lot of free time on my had, but If you know me I do not. There is still a lot of things that what to do, but I don’t really know how.

This is not going to be a long thing, but I think this is the time to explore, and get to doing things that you have wanted to do for a while. There is no excuse and the unknown is about to be part of the known.

Poem: The Same

Today everything was the same

I was brave

I fought the less fortunate

I was kind

Most importantly I was there

Today everything was the same

I was tough

I walked without a care

I was at ease

Most importantly I was there

Today everything was the same

I was flying high

I did my part to make everything right

I was here

Most importantly I was here

As always today was the same

I cried

At night nobody came to see why

Nobody called to check on me

Until it was time for me to fight

I was not brave, kind, tough at ease, flying high and I was no longer here

For the last time and the most important I was not there

Nothing was the same

Time

There always seems like there is not enough time in the world to do anything lately. This year has start off in between for me. There are some good days and some bad days, but I am not sure where to go. There is a lot of things that I want to do, but it always seems as if there is no time for me to do. This seems like something I have wrote or said before. Let’s switch it up a bit.

Time is money as they say, and I do believe that. There are some people that would only use you or call you when you they need something that will benefit them, and more than likely hurt you. This can be a bad thing, but it also can be good thing. This is a life lesson that you make need to understand.

Something that I have learn over the years is that the dollar is not important. Sure you need it to survive, but it is not everything. Granted it is helpful, but you have to know how to maybe live with less, and how to survive on less of it. The place where a person might feel this the most is at there place of employment, or your family.

You have to know your worth, and how that you can not let the the dollar control you. Lose it and keep it moving.

The unthinkable

Today I did something I never though that I would do. I walked away; though this was not by choice, I finally had enough strength to put myself first.  This was not something that was done lightly this is something that I have though about for the last couple of months, but to be honest I had to do it. There are some life changes that are about o happen and I have to make some tough decisions. Will these decisions hurt people? Yes, but I have to do what I have.

This moment I was brave, not by choice, but by force. I am at a point in life where I can no longer be scared. I have to do what is best for me, and my well being. Do i know what will happen tomorrow? No, but am I afraid 100% yes. I am not sure what exactly I am going to do next. This is the beauty about life you never know what the next day will hold, but you can make it one that you will be proud of.

You have to learn how to believe in yourself, because if you don’t you can’t expect someone else to believe in you. The next couple of days will test you from your faith to your will to survive. This is challenge that I am willing to take, but the result is one I am uncertain of.