The Road to No, from always yes.

The last couple of days I have been away, you ask way to be completely honest I do not really know. I called to go do a task, did I want to do the task no. I was called to do the task, and me being the person that I am could not say no. I don’t know why I can never tell anybody no I always feel as if I am letting them no.

The road to telling somebody no is a hard and bumpy one. The pressure that you feel when some you  know and think highly of ask you to do something that you don’t quite feel comfortable with is hard to turn down. I am not talking about anything that can or could get you into to trouble, but just something that is simple and easy, but for you it is hard and complicated thing to do. It is the pressure to say that no matter what you asked of me that I have never told you no is something to be hold that gives you strength, but also weakens your power to tell them no.

In a way, it gives you a chance to step out of your comfort zone, and you get a chance to experience something that you might never get a chance to ever do. Then there are times you have to ask yourself do you want to step out of your comfort zone? Why, because when you are in that zone it is safe and as far you can tell secure. I think the worst place for a person to be is in safe place and secure place. I am not talking financially, I am talking about life wise. Life is challenge, and that what makes it worth living. It means you have something to live for and to go afterwards.

I can say as I have gotten older it has become extremely hard for me to tell someone no, I can’t do that. When I was younger I just would never reply back, but as I got older I just don’t ever want to let them down. I almost fell like I would rather let myself down or someone else down.

Life is meant for the wicked, and if you good you need to learn how to keep it .

Short Story: City of Sin


Raven and Aubrey were on their way back from Las Vegas, this time everything that happens in Vegas did not stay in Vegas. While they were in Vegas, Raven found out that she was pregnant. She wanted to tell Aubrey right then and there, but she decided to wait until they got home.

When they arrived at the airport, they first thing they wanted to do was to find something to eat. They found this bar called Angie’s, so they sat down at a table and waited for the waitress to come over. While they were sitting at the bar, they kept noticing a recurring thing, there were kids running around everywhere.

“Look at all these kids running around here,” “Don’t this makes you want to have kids right away,” she said.

Aubrey then looked at her with a smirk on his face and did not say a word, but under his breath, he whispered, “No. I can wait.” He thought that Raven didn’t hear him, but she did.

They both look at each other and Raven’s face was as white as a ghost. When the waiter comes over Raven orders a glass of water, which surprised Aubrey for second. The whole time she is thinking what he just said. Did I hear him right, he is not ready for kids, but just last week he said he could not wait to have kids with me.

“Hey” as he rubs Raven on the shoulders after he realized that her mood had changed. “What’s wrong you seem upset?”

At first Raven does not know what to say, she wants to tell him that she is pregnant, after that comment she is feeling conflicted. This is supposed to be a happy time for the couple, the only reason they flew to Vegas was to get married. The wedding plans were driving them insane, so they decided to just get it over with.

“Huh, what did you say,” Raven said

“I said are you okay, you seemed upset about something,”

“No, I am good, but do you think that we are ready to have kids,” “You mean now, I don’t think so,”

“Why,” Raven asked.

“Because we are almost done with school, and this is not a good time right now.” “Why do you ask,” Aubrey asked.

“Just with all the kids running around here it just makes me think that we are ready,” “No, let’s give it a couple years,”

After that conversation, Raven was even more confused than she was before. She really wants to tell him that she is pregnant, but how will he take it after saying all that. For the next 30 minutes, they both sat in silence while eating their food. As the kids continue to run around it is making it even harder for Raven to not tell Aubrey about the baby.

So, as they sit in the airport waiting for their plane to leave, Raven decides that she is going to tell him right here and now. As she builds up enough courage a kid runs over and sits all over Aubrey’s clothes. The minute this happens, she can see the angry forming inside of him, all the momentum is gone. Now she will have to wait until they get home, but she says no and blurts it out.

I’m Pregnant.


Under Control

Well I have to admit that I have not kept up with my promise to write at least once everyday, but I just did not have the energy or time to do it. I will try to be better, but I honestly can’t make a promise on that, and as they say promises are made to be broken. I will do better in order for me to get to better situation I have to learn how to adjust to things that are out of my control.

A thing I have come to learn is that life is hard, but it is fun and something that should be cherish everyday, but it is hard. If life wasn’t hard would it be worth living? I do not think so, struggling is something that makes life worth living, it gives you hope knowing that tomorrow could be a better day. The beautiful thing about life is that we do not really have any control over it. We do not know for certain how our story will end, all we know is that it will end. Yet, we have all the questions about why?

The last few days have been up and down. There has been a lot questions that I would like to know or get a better understanding. One of the questions is how do you know when to move on, and how to be sure you it is time to move on?  I have the answer, but the one thing that is always tough is are you sure. I have a very big problem with second guessing myself. I will make every excuse in the world to not do, but I know that in order for me to get better I have to pull the plug.

This is short, but the next post will be better.

Sister Wives

Recently I have been watching the show Sister Wives. I don’t know why I have been watching it, but I have and I kinda love it. I must admit when the show first came out in 2010, I was fresh out of high school by a year (class of 2009!) so I did not really watch it. This show has open my eyes to so much and yet made a lot of things pretty clear for me. The show starts off with the family living in Utah, they are force to move out of the state because of the law of the land of Utah.

I can say I did not really understand what exactly polygamy was or what it actually means. Growing up in the bible belt, you can say that my views were shape by my parents and grandparents. As I got older, I see things a little different than they do. I must say that I was a little skeptical of a plural marriage. How can one guy be married to more than one woman and it not be awkward? Then I started watching and understanding how they can do it.

After watching episode after episode I learn that it does not work well, but what in life does work well. The relationships are complications, but what relationship is not complicated. The unique way in which Kody loves all his wives is a special and unique way. The part of the show that had me more intrigue is why this is not legal.

That is the big question that I had why is this legal. On the show Kody is only married to one of his four wives legally, and the other three are considered his spiritual wives. The reason is the Edmund’s act, which made polygamy a federal crime. This act was sign in 1882, over 100 years ago. I think that this act needs to change. I am not saying that I am 100% on board with this, but why should anybody if someone decides to marry more than one person. If they can afford to do it, and they are not living off the government then by all means go for it. We are a country that say we have freedom of  religion, and if it is part of there religion then let it happen.

I think the reason people do not support it is because it is not part of Christianity, and if something is not part of what they consider Christianity then it is wrong. If I am not mistaken Christianity has not always been so great to also. If is does not affect you then why are you worried about it?