So….

 

Hello hello hello.

I do not know where to begin, but let’s go. The first thing is why I am doing this the truth is I do not know to be honest, but I think I just need to. There has been a lot of things happen to me since they last time I did a blog or wrote about anything. There were some good things and if you ask me a lot more bad things happen.

If you know me then you know that I am a pessimist, I don’t know why but I just am. I always think that something bad is going to happen to me or to someone around me. I guess it could be that I am so use to everything going wrong around me that I am just use to it by now. I know I should not think like that, but I can not help to. Back to subject at hand.

The last time I was actively writing almost everyday was when I was in school. I have since graduated, and that it when everything went down hill from there in my opinion. Some people might say I good thing happen to me, but I think I may have made a decision that I did not know what was coming to me. I cannot say exactly what happen, but It is part of the reason why I feel stuck. If it was one thing that I would do over, I hate to say it, but it would be that decision.

Since then I have learn over that I should have followed my first mind, and not let others opinions direct me to where I want to go or should go. I did become a better person since that time, but I am not the person I thought that I would be. I have always been afraid to step outside the box. That is why I decided to do this challenge. The reason i am doing this is because lately I would say in the last few months I have been feeling lost. I don’t know why, but I kinda do if you can understand that. Life is crazy is the best way to say it. One day everything is going fine, and with the blink of an eye everything is wrong.

I turn 30 next year, and I made myself a vow that i will now be the situation or mindset that I am in. I promise myself that I will not go back down the rabbit hole again. The last time it was not good (that is a story for another day,) it was life changing.

Hopefully by me doing this I can find out my purpose in this world, to be honest I don;t think I will but I am hoping I will.

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